N'orflaak and Blackmail
by Celadon Catamount
Summary: I bet you'll never guess what Robin is doing. Obsessing over Slade! But this story isn't about that. This story is about what Beast Boy decided to DO about it. What is his ingenious plan, and how will he get Raven to help? A quick oneshot, Rob/Star BB/Rae


"I suppose you all know why I've called you here today."

The room fell silent, but for the soft patter of rain against the common room windows.

"I give up, why did you call us here today?" asked Cyborg.

"And really, there's only two of us, Beast Boy. You don't have to pretend we're an audience." said Raven, who was sitting next to Cyborg on the couch.

Beast Boy made a face at Raven. "Hey, I've just always wanted to say that. Anyway, I think it's about time we did something about Robin."

Raven sighed, and rolled her eyes. Cyborg rubbed the back of his neck. "Look, BB, I know Robin's freakish obsession is frustrating you. It's frustrating to _all_ of us, especially Star. But we've all tried everything! He won't even answer the door anymore for anyone but Raven..."

"Exactly!" cried Beast Boy.

"Oh, great." said Raven. "What half-baked plan do you have now?"

Beast Boy's face lit up as he laid out his latest plot to get Robin out of his office. When he was done, he saw a look of approval from Cyborg, and a bemused expression from Raven.

"And why should I help you with this ridiculous plan?" she asked.

Beast Boy gave her a devilish grin. "Because if you _chicken out_, some interesting things will come to light." he said.

"You wouldn't dare!" she stared at him in disbeleif.

"I would." he smirked.

**· · · — — — · · ·**

Robin sat hunched over his desk, staring at his notes in frustration. How was he supposed to find Slade with so little information, so few clues? His focus was interrupted by a light knocking at the door. Too soft to be Starfire or Cyborg, and too sharp and precise for Beast Boy. It could only be Raven.

Knowing Raven wouldn't bother him for no reason, he sighed. "Come in."

The door slid open just enough for Raven to step in, and she quickly shut it behind her. Robin could swear he heard muffled laughter on the other side of the wall. Her hood was up, but she seemed slightly embarrassed about something. "Just so you know," she muttered quickly, "I was blackmailed into this." she cleared her throat. "Robin, I bring you a mystical gift from the far east!" she announced with an air of dark mystery.

"Raven, wha-" Robin started, but he was cut off as the door opened and a green camel entered the room. Riding said camel was Cyborg, sporting a turban and a purple vest. He sat in a meditative position with his legs crossed around the camel's hump.

"Cross my palms with four quarters to answer the secrets of all life." Cyborg said solemnly, attempting an oriental accent.

Despite his extreme annoyance at being interrupted, it took all of Robin's self-control not to burst out laughing at the sight before him. He smirked. "Very funny guys, but I have work to do. Slade has to be found, he could strike at any moment. I'll be out later, I promise."

"Cross my palms with eight quarters, and I will give you the location of the one you want." said Cyborg.

Robin raised an eyebrow. Were they simply messing with him, or had they found Slade, and decided to tell him in a creative way? He shrugged. He was the adopted son of a billionaire, he could spare two dollars to find out. He reached into his belt, drew out eight quarters, and deposited them in Cyborg's hand.

"Your answer awaits you in the kitchen." said Cyborg. Suddenly Cyborg, Beast Boy, and Raven were enveloped in dark energy and disappeared. Robin sighed. He highly doubted he would find Slade in the kitchen, but his feet took him there anyway out of sheer curiosity. As he approached, he heard a soft humming and the clatter of pots and pans.

"Robin!" cried Starfire, as soon as she spotted him. "It is glorious to see you have taken the break from your search!" her smile could have powered the whole city.

"Actual-"

"Perhaps you would care to sample my homemade n'orflaak?" without waiting for his response, she dashed to the kitchen to get her n'orflaak.

Robin sat at the counter, knowing she would be hurt if he made a break for it (Which he really wanted to do at the moment). He gritted his teeth. He knew now why Cyborg had directed him to the kitchen. "I will give you the location of the one you want." The one he wanted. Starfire. He had paid them two dollars just so he could stop his search and stomach Tameranian food for his crush. He was going to kill them later. In the mean time, he would try to enjoy the time alone with Starfire. Robin's thoughts were interrupted by a smell like rotting fish wafting towards him…

**· · · — — — · · ·**

In the Tower's security room, three Titans were watching Robin gag on n'orflaak and shaking with laughter. Yes, even Raven was shaking with laughter.

"See, Raven?" said Beast Boy, gesturing to the monitor showing the kitchen. "You can't deny that _that_ is hilarious! Aren't you glad you decided to join the fun?" he asked, elbowing her gently in the ribs.

"As if I had a _choice_." she rolled her eyes.

"I still don't understand how you got her to do it, BB." said Cyborg, "C'mon, you gotta tell me!"

Raven shot Beast Boy one of her signature death glares. Beast Boy rubbed the back of his neck. "Heh, I blackmailed her. If I told you, she'd have to kill me."

"And I would enjoy it, too." she smirked.

Beast Boy let out a nervous laugh. "Anyway, let's split the loot."

"Uh, BB?" said Cyborg, "You know you can't split eight quarters between three people..."

"Oh."

"That's okay, Cyborg, Beast Boy was going to give me his share anyway." said Raven. And that settled the matter.

To this day, only Raven and Beast Boy know that underneath Raven's bed lies a giant stuffed chicken named Lemmy (Short for Lemon the chicken). The very same giant chicken that Beast Boy had won for her at the carnival. And as long as Beast Boy values his life, that is how it will stay.


End file.
